all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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