Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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