I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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