tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
