better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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