Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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