I never want to see another naked old woman again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
