if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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