its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
