love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
