Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
