Do you still have your period?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
