I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
