So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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