whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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