and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
