i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
