Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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