Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
