He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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