you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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