Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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