Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
