I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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