Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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