I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
