her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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