Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
