Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
