I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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