Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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