Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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