If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
