I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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