he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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