great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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