At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
