i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please come you make the beer taste better
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
