it was like his penis was on wheels.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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