That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
