it was like his penis was on wheels.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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