Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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