think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
