Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
