i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
