you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
