i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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