Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
