I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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