I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
