i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
