I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm too high and old for this...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
