Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
