Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
