Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
