My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
