Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
