I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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