If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize