I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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