we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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