Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize