so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
