She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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