Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize