Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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