I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
