I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
