mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
