Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
