i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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